My expedition was to a  physicians hospital office to get the results of a medical test performed the previous week. Normally the hospital is about a twelve to twenty  minute drive depending on the traffic. My appointment was for ten thirty in the morning. Spring had arrived at last. The day was warm and pleasant and I decided to take the bus and arrive early to stroll the lovely grounds. I left home at  ten to nine and walked five  minutes to the bus stop. A few people were waiting. No bus was insight. After several minutes I decided to walk a few blocks to the stop at the main intersection. The light at the intersection was red It changed to green but the traffic didn’t move, including the gridlock caught in the inter section and the firetruck with the flashing lights and blaring siren.

  I struckup a conversation with a frail looking but sprightly  older senior sporting a cane and grocery bags filled with clippings from her garden. She told me that her son  had driven her here, from farther north taking  side streets. Only one lane of south bound traffic was open on the main road due to road construction and traffic was virtually at a stand still. Buses weren’t getting through. She had been waiting for about forty minutes  at this stop for a bus that never came. It turned out that she had an apointment at the same hospital where I was going.  The bags of plant clippings were for the doctors receptionist. Her appointment was for eleven o’clock and she was afraid she would be late.  If she was going to be late for her eleven o’clock appointment what chance did I have to get to my appointment by ten thirty? I thought of calling the doctors office to inform the receptionist  that I  would be late . I opened my purse and “Oh Oh “ my phone was not there.  I realized It was  still plugged in to the charger on the kitchen counter. I looked for a taxi .There was a shortage of taxi cabs in the vicinity . The only one I saw was going in the opposite direction filled with passengers. Then I had an idea. I would ask the lady with the cane and bags of clippings if I could have a bag of clippings to give to my doctor’s receptionist as a peace offering for arriving late–but the old lady wasn’t there. Then I spotted her . She was in the middle of the road trying to get someone to give her a ride. She approached several vehicles and tapped on the window  with her cane. She tried to convince the few drivers who actually rolled down their windows to give her a lift. She was unsuccessful. Suddenly the traffic started to move. I yelled for the gutsy senior to be careful and to return to the safety of the  side walk. I suspect in addition to being somewhat physically challenged she was also  somewhat hearing challenged because she ignored me. She finally hobbled out of the way, weaving in and out of traffic at almost the same minute that the bus finally arrived.
   I arrived at my appointment an hour late. Other patients were also late due to the road conditions. The doctor did see me for maybe two minutes to tell me that my test results were fine. Why couldn’t these results been relayed by telephone ? I know Doctors want to get paid, but perhaps a telephone consultation fee could be paid by  health insurance .
   I took the bus home. South bound traffic moved quickly. It was a fast ride and  also an interesting ride. Me and others  on the bus couldn’t help being privy to the one-sided telephone conversation of a fellow passenger. His phone had a very loud ring and he had an even louder voice. The one sided conversation went something like this: ‘HELLO , HELLO,  WHO IS THIS?—— BRIAN? HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER BRIAN?—-  YA YA I AM REALLY INTERESTED IN MEETING WITH YOU BRIAN. BUT HERE IS THE THING,  BRIAN YOU CANT CALL ME BY MY REAL NAME. CALL ME ON MY OTHER NUMBER I AM REALLY INTERESTED.”
Interested in What ? A drug deal? A romantic liaison? A contract to kill someone? I never did find out.I wanted to ask him to turn on the speaker on his phone so we could hear the whole conversation. I didn’t because I didn’t think it was politically correct to do so. The bus arrived at my stop and I exited the bus although I must admit I was tempted to stay on board to eavesdrop on more of the one sided  conversation. Now some of you must think I am a nosy busy body. That may be true but I prefer to think of myself as a curious individual interested in people and their lives. Hmm that does sound like a busy body. Well nobody is perfect.
My expedition to the doctor lasted over three hours. I saw the doctor for two minutes, The good thing is this expedition  gave me fodder for this blog.

About epsnider

E.P SNIDER is the pen name that I used to publish "WHY ME- a memoir". I used a pen name so as not to embarrass my spouse, my offspring, their offspring, my grand dogs and my friends. A dream came true when I had my first book published at the age of sixty-nine. "WHY ME? "is a collection of memoirs recounted from various stages of my life and the lives of those that I love or like at least some of the time. Most of the incidences are humorous-some are not. I am a senior but I feel more like a junior except for the aches and pains. When I look in the mirror I often see my mother or some other aging lady with wrinkles and sun spots. The amount and depth of wrinkling depends on which mirror I am looking into, the degree of lighting and how well my skin absorbed the moisturizing cream that day. Although I am mature in years, maturity is definitely not one of my virtues. If something strikes me as funny I get the giggles. Most of my family and many of our friends have a rather warped sense of humour-so I giggle a lot. Laughter plays an important role in our lives. My friends were a significant inspiration for me to begin my writing career. For the past number of years hubby and I have been spending part of the winter season in Florida to escape the sometimes bitter cold climate in Toronto Canada. Every year I send emails to those left behind. To my delight they find my emails to be hysterical and a cure for their winter doldrums. They compare my style of writing to that of the late Erma Bombeck. For those of you not familiar with the author-- she was a beloved American humorist in the 1970's and 1980's. I have loved literature and creative writing from an early age. I spent some of my growing up years in Alberta and won a prize for a best poem commemorating Alberta's bicentennial year. My grade seven teacher was a large and forceful woman, with white hair and course bristly white chin hairs to match. We were all intimidated by her and thus listened intently as she drilled us about parsing sentences and adverbs and adjectives. She provided me with a good basis of the English language. In addition to "Why Me" I have had a short essay published in a book of assorted memoirs by Canadian woman. I currently write for our Toronto Condominium newspaper. I hope to do more writing, although I am not sure if my family can cope with any more of my meltdowns when blocks of written material mysteriously disappear off of my computor. I admit I am computor and electronically challenged, but I will persevere. - - - - - - - - - - - Writing has been a passion of mine through out my life. Ever since I took a step forward and entered into the world of computers, a new world of opened up for me. I found myself engrossed in writing emails with lengthy updates about my life's recent highlights. To my delight, people found me...funny! I then offered to write for my condo newsletter, and I recently had a short memoir published. For the last several years I became glued to my computer, transferring my hand-written life adventure notes to an actual story of my life's defining moments. Finally, at the age of 69, I was done... I wrote a book! AND it's actually published. People are reading it. People are enjoying it. I am thrilled! Plus, it's one of the greatest gifts I could ever give my family. Talk about a dream come true. My advice to you: Think positive, keep your eye on the prize, and you too can enjoy as your dreams and desires come to fruition.
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6 Responses to THE EXPEDITION

  1. Schmind says:

    LOL! Good fodder for your blog!


  2. mycatgrady says:

    good one Elaine…
    it’s one of those days..another one of those days..does it ever stop???
    why do I not remember these things happening when we were younger?
    perhaps they really didn’t happen?
    I’m blaming our society….


  3. 2chicks2go says:

    I think it’s great you’re doing this blog! A good read. 🙂


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