WHO AM I NOW
Since the passing of my spouse whom I miss terribly, I have taken on new roles.
In this new chapter of my life, I am now the matriarch of my family. I am matriarch to my children and grandchildren. And I can’t forget about the grand dogs .I have also taken on the role of bookkeeper, financial planner, payer of bills, replacer of batteries and emptier of the dishwasher–the one and only household task that D. half performed, He put away a few mugs and dishes and left the rest for me to deal with—but that was okay– a half emptied dishwasher was better than one not emptied at all
I was once part of a we. But now I am a me.
But just who is this Me?
That is what I am trying to figure out, Like most individuals I am an enigma. I am complicated and I am constantly learning about myself.
I am a senior, sometimes I am a younger woman. I am often a giddy teenager, and sometimes even a child.
I Am a gamer. I play mahjong, canasta and bridge. I play scrabble, and a bunch of inane computer games that make no sense at all.
I am not particularly athletic but I enjoy walking, Pilates and swimming–but only in water the temperature of a warm bath.
I am a reader and a writer.
I am a thinker and a worrier. I worry not only about me, but also about my family, relatives and friends, strangers and the world. I am a listener and I have a compassionate nature.
I have empathy for others; so much so that I often take on their worries, problems and concerns as my own. Maybe that explains why I am often stressed out and a little nutsy .I am emotional and I cry at movies and weddings and giggle uncontrollably (sometimes inappropriately) if something strikes me as funny.
I Am a disorganized organizer. I Am disorganized by nature but since I like my life and house to be in order it takes longer for me to get things done. It doesn’t help that my memory isn’t quite as acute as it once was and I spend an inordinate amount of time searching for misplaced things.
I am a social butterfly and I am also a loner. I love people I am a people watcher and enjoy mingling, but I also cherish my alone time and need my space.
In my twilight years, I hope to discover more about myself. I intend to travel, live my life to the fullest with family and friends and to be the best me that I can be.