Who AM I NOW

WHO AM I NOW

 Since the passing of my spouse whom I  miss terribly,  I have taken on new roles.
In this new chapter of my life, I am now the matriarch of my family. I am matriarch to my children and grandchildren. And I can’t forget about the grand dogs .I  have also taken on the role of bookkeeper, financial planner, payer of bills, replacer of batteries and emptier of the dishwasher–the one and only household task that D. half performed, He put away a few mugs and dishes and left the rest for me to deal  with—but that was okay– a half emptied dishwasher was better than one not emptied at all
 I was once part of a we. But now I am a me.
But just who is this Me?
That is what I am trying to figure out,  Like most individuals I am an enigma. I am complicated and  I am constantly learning about myself.
 I am a senior, sometimes I am a younger woman. I  am often a giddy teenager, and sometimes even a child.
I Am a gamer. I play mahjong, canasta and bridge.  I play scrabble, and a bunch of inane computer games that make no sense at all.
I am not particularly athletic but I enjoy walking, Pilates and swimming–but only in water the temperature of a warm bath.
I am a reader and a writer.
I am a thinker and a worrier. I worry not only about me, but also about my family, relatives and friends, strangers and the world. I am a listener and I have a compassionate nature.
I have empathy for others; so much so that I often take on their worries, problems and concerns as  my own. Maybe that explains why I am often stressed out and a little nutsy .I am emotional and I cry at movies and weddings and giggle uncontrollably (sometimes inappropriately) if something strikes me as funny.
I Am a disorganized organizer. I Am disorganized by nature but since I like my life and house to be in order it takes longer for me to get things done. It doesn’t help that my memory isn’t quite as acute as it once was and I spend an inordinate amount of time searching for misplaced things.
I am a social  butterfly and I am also a loner. I love people I am  a people watcher and enjoy mingling, but I also cherish my alone time and need my space.
In my twilight years, I hope to discover more about myself. I intend to travel, live my life to the fullest with family and friends and to be the best me that I can be.

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About epsnider

E.P SNIDER is the pen name that I used to publish "WHY ME- a memoir". I used a pen name so as not to embarrass my spouse, my offspring, their offspring, my grand dogs and my friends. A dream came true when I had my first book published at the age of sixty-nine. "WHY ME? "is a collection of memoirs recounted from various stages of my life and the lives of those that I love or like at least some of the time. Most of the incidences are humorous-some are not. I am a senior but I feel more like a junior except for the aches and pains. When I look in the mirror I often see my mother or some other aging lady with wrinkles and sun spots. The amount and depth of wrinkling depends on which mirror I am looking into, the degree of lighting and how well my skin absorbed the moisturizing cream that day. Although I am mature in years, maturity is definitely not one of my virtues. If something strikes me as funny I get the giggles. Most of my family and many of our friends have a rather warped sense of humour-so I giggle a lot. Laughter plays an important role in our lives. My friends were a significant inspiration for me to begin my writing career. For the past number of years hubby and I have been spending part of the winter season in Florida to escape the sometimes bitter cold climate in Toronto Canada. Every year I send emails to those left behind. To my delight they find my emails to be hysterical and a cure for their winter doldrums. They compare my style of writing to that of the late Erma Bombeck. For those of you not familiar with the author-- she was a beloved American humorist in the 1970's and 1980's. I have loved literature and creative writing from an early age. I spent some of my growing up years in Alberta and won a prize for a best poem commemorating Alberta's bicentennial year. My grade seven teacher was a large and forceful woman, with white hair and course bristly white chin hairs to match. We were all intimidated by her and thus listened intently as she drilled us about parsing sentences and adverbs and adjectives. She provided me with a good basis of the English language. In addition to "Why Me" I have had a short essay published in a book of assorted memoirs by Canadian woman. I currently write for our Toronto Condominium newspaper. I hope to do more writing, although I am not sure if my family can cope with any more of my meltdowns when blocks of written material mysteriously disappear off of my computor. I admit I am computor and electronically challenged, but I will persevere. - - - - - - - - - - - Writing has been a passion of mine through out my life. Ever since I took a step forward and entered into the world of computers, a new world of opened up for me. I found myself engrossed in writing emails with lengthy updates about my life's recent highlights. To my delight, people found me...funny! I then offered to write for my condo newsletter, and I recently had a short memoir published. For the last several years I became glued to my computer, transferring my hand-written life adventure notes to an actual story of my life's defining moments. Finally, at the age of 69, I was done... I wrote a book! AND it's actually published. People are reading it. People are enjoying it. I am thrilled! Plus, it's one of the greatest gifts I could ever give my family. Talk about a dream come true. My advice to you: Think positive, keep your eye on the prize, and you too can enjoy as your dreams and desires come to fruition.
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One Response to Who AM I NOW

  1. You sound a lot like me! (But you put it so well!)

    Like

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