I am part of a writing group. I wanted to try composing something different and decided on writing a children’s story. It was well received by the group and also by my 2 young granddaughters who even took the time to paint some pictures to illustrate it.
I am thinking of expanding it into a book and perhaps publishing it. I would appreciate your thoughts and constructive criticism and any ideas where to go from here eg suggestions of publishers, editors and illustrators.
Lori Walks the Path
Her mommy came over and put her arm around her shoulders and said “Lori are you still looking at that picture? You are in your pyjamas and your teeth are brushed. Come, it is time to go to bed. Bunny is waiting for you”
“Mommy” said Lori pointing to the piece of art, “where do you think the road goes?”
“Honey I have told you before I don’t know.”
The road in discussion was a winding country road bordered on both sides by trees and colourful flowers. Her mommy walked her young daughter to her bed and gave her a big hug.
Bunny was lying on the pillow. Bunny was a gift from Lori’s Nanna. She told her granddaughter that she bought Bunny for her from the hospital gift shop the day she was born. The name tag attached to Bunny said Bonnie B. Bunny. Sometimes Lori called her BB for short or sometimes just Bunny. Lori loved her and couldn’t fall asleep without her beside her. She hugged her and said “BB Bunny I really wish I could walk along that road.
Lori was getting sleepy. She closed her eyes. Just as she was about to doze off she felt herself floating off of the bed, through the air and landing with a soft thud on the road in her favourite picture. Bunny was still in her arms. She didn’t stay in her arms for very long though. She jumped down and proceeded to hop along beside her in true bunny fashion. Birds were singing and butterflies were flitting about, The birds chirped in unison “Hi Lori. Hi Bunny. Welcome.” Lori asked BB ”why are the birds talking and singing at the same time?” Bunny answered “because they are musical magical birds.” Oh” said Lori.
Music and laughter could be heard in the distance. “Where are those sounds coming from, birds?” The birds sang, “keep walking along the path and you will find out soon enough.” So Lori did that. And soon enough the road stopped at the edge of the lushest and greenest grass that Lori had ever seen. Flowers of every colour were peaking through the blades of grass. Somebody was sitting and playing lively tunes at a baby grande piano, much like the piano at her great uncle’s house, although this piano was pink not brown. Children were laughing and dancing. Dogs and rabbits and squirrels and chipmunks were also swaying to the music. Pretty blankets were on the grass. A princess was sitting on each blanket and was inviting children to join her for a picnic.
Beyond the grass was a white sand beach bordering blue crystal clear water.
“Come bunny Lets go.” They raced over the lawn to the beach toward the water. The warm sand swished between their toes. They smiled at the turtles and the frogs. They waded into the water. BB helped Lori roll up the legs on her pyjamas. The black swans and white swans and the pink flamingos and the loons all swam over to say hello. The baby ducklings followed behind their parents.
“Isn’t this fun Bunny?” BB agreed. After spending a lot of time splashing around and having rides on the backs of the swans, Bunny and Lori were famished. They raced out of the water onto the beach and on to the lawn. They joined one of the princesses on a blanket. They ate rolled up peanut butter and banana sandwiches, carrots (bunny’s favourite) and mini cupcakes accompanied by drinks of pink lemonade that was flowing out of a mini fountain. They ate and drank until they were so so full. Lori was getting sleepy.
Bonnie B. Bunny scrambled away to play with the other rabbits on the lawn and Lori laid on the grass on her back and gazed at the blue sky and at the occasional white fluffy cloud that floated by. The breeze was gentle and the sun’s rays warmed her body and made her even sleepier. Lori fell fast asleep and slept until she heard a lady’s voice calling her name. The princess must want me, thought Lori. She opened her eyes. To her surprise she wasn’t lying on the grass, but rather she was lying in her bed on her green floral sheets. The breeze was blowing through her open bedroom window and the morning’s sun was shining on her face. Her mother was calling her. “Lori, wake up you sleepy head. Your breakfast is ready”
“Bunny this is so weird “ Lori said. But bunny didn’t answer. Lori looked all around her bed, “Bonnie B. bunny where are you?”
Lori panicked. What if BB didn’t come back with her? Maybe she decided to stay and play with the other animals. She should never have let go of her. Then she saw a beige ear sticking out from under her pillow. She gave it a tug and out came Bunny.
She hugged Bunny and said “Bunny, I am so so glad to see you.” Lori suddenly realized how hungry she was. “Come Bunny let’s go eat breakfast” On the way to the kitchen, they stopped to gaze at the painting of the country road. “We will have to go back up the road soon because I didn’t even say goodbye to the musical magical birds and all our other new friends.” “What did you say, Lori?” Mommy called from the kitchen. “Nothing Mommy” Lori answered.